I've been dreaming for this day....

I have officially been released as Relief Society Secretary! I cannot tell you how happy I am. I almost cried out of relief. Don't get me wrong, I like church, I like serving, and I like meeting all of the women in the ward on such a personal basis. It has been a great two years. These past two years have been really challenging for me.

I like challenges and pushing myself so that I can learn and grow; but these last few months have been less of a fun challenge and more of a "I can't take this time commitment any longer and I feel like a loser for not getting everything done that I need to". I felt like my girls were getting the raw end of the deal. It was such a bummer to have Dan go on business trips and then for me to leave them with a babysitter, I felt like I was abandoning them.

That said, I have been feeling as if I needed to ask to be released, and I have been having a lot of guilt because of it. I thought that I wasn't just giving my all and that I needed to just tough it out. Thus creating some confusion on what I should do.

And then, my wonderful mom came to help watch the girls while I worked at the rental during move in and move outs last week. While I was gone the RS Pres stopped by and asked my mom how I was doing. She was honest with her and told her about some of the things I had told her I had been struggling with. My mom and RS Pres both assured me that there is a time and a season for everything. And that there is more awareness in the church now about the demands on mothers of young children than there was when they were raising their children. I still had some doubts in the back of my head because I feel like we were raised to accept every calling that comes our way. No matter what the demands are with work or children. It has taken me a long time to feel justified in asking to be released. But I can say with confidence now that I truly believe the Lord loves me and accepts me, even if I could not fulfill that particular calling at this particular time. I tried my best. But I know that my children need me right now. I'm not going to get another opportunity to be with them at these ages. But there will always be opportunities to serve in the church. The church is here to strengthen families, not the other way around.

I am so grateful for my mom and Annette who were so loving and open enough to help me through this transition. I am so grateful for Heavenly Father who knows us individually with our own strengths and feelings. I feel really lucky to have that personal relationship with Him, with someone who knows me well and helps out better than anyone.

I am now called to be a nursery leader and I am so so so so so so so so excited! I will get to play with Ash and Adrie and I will be able to hear some of the lesson because I am going to be the one teaching! That just makes me smile.

Another thing I am extremely excited about is that my sister Suzanne has volunteered to take over the maintenance for the rentals. She is going to field the calls and do follow up with the tenants. She is one of those amazing super moms who have it all together and can do everything. Suz has such a talent for saying the right thing at the right time. It amazes me how tactful she is and how she can keep her cool even in the most stressful situations. I love her so much. This is going to be such a great step to getting the rentals running very smoothly so that everyone loves the apartments. So many amazing things are happening.

So what am I going to do with all this new free time? Well, I have a list of projects at my house.

1. I am starting to do summer preschool for Ashton. We have a whole curriculum under planning mode right now. We have tried out a few activities and she loves it and really needs it for her speech and articulation development- so more of that to come.

2. I have started running every morning with the girls. In the stroller that is anything but a jogging stroller, so I'm hoping I'll get an even better work out because it is so heavy to push. What a sight.

3. Manicure all of my flower beds. I have finished two already and it makes our house look so good! My dad will be so proud.

4. Paint my fence which hasn't been painted in four years. Jeeesh.
I have a whole excel sheet of projects I am going to get done. This summer is going to be awesome.